would like take a moment to talk about something very personal to me….

Being a father.. a single father…

My daughter was 10 months when I decided I could take it no more. The women I had a relation with turned out to be a lot diferent than what I had wished for.
And even though I knew of all her problems, all her issues and all struggles that we would have to deal with, I hoped that she would at least back up her initial intentions and fight with me.

See, to me it doesnt matter if you have children from another relation, I dont even care if you are still in a relation that is ending. If I am attracted and feel it is worth fighting for I will do so… All I want in return is for the women to fight the same fight with me and not against me.

So with this being said, she simply did not stand by my side during the struggle. instead she made me fight against her… with only one possible ending… Separation.

So there I am, traveling technician leaving that relation. My daughter 10 months old and since 6 months being raised and looked after by my mother…
Here is where it gets tricky now…

so my mom raises my daughter..

As soon as I decide to quit, the mom picks up the child and demands money..Yes money.. a X amount of money, otherwise I would see my daughter again.
My reaction…. court.

6 months till the first court audit. i win custody together with my mom due to the fact that I am traveling for work.
in the next 3 years I go in and out of court 2 times more and both i still walk out with custody of my daughter…

So I have fought for my daughter.
Decided that I will not get into realtions that fast, just cant trust and dont want to go all in.. need time for my daughter and myself.

meanwhile.. thinking of my future and my daughters future I buy a house.. Where my mom lives in and somehow has managed to have control over it as it being her own house.
Using my daughter and the fact that I depend on her whilst traveling to control my life as well…

this goes on for 5 years…

Now I am a single father and looking into relations…
But I am stuck, tied up.

not only will my future partner have to deal with me being a single father, she will have to deal with my daughters mom and with my own mom controlling my life.
Life is a bitch when you put your own needs and happiness aside for someone else..
I look back now and see all if this.. wondering how to get out.

How did I get into this triangle?

How do I get out?

dont get me wrong I believe that any father that gets a divorce, separates or whatever needs to fight for their children. Needs to be present. Needs to be a father.
But looking at the steps I have taken and looking at all that surround me now…

Be carefull dads.. Be very carefull on how you fight for the children and make sure you dont end up living someone elses live.

After all I have left a relation because it was consuming too much. I was being abused and fighting alone..
Only to find myself in another similar situation.. Now with my mom.

Oh yeah.. my dad has taken advantage as well from all of this.. He sees it that my mom is working for me and therefor I need to provide for her finacially, he has used that so that he doesnt need to provide and help his wife…
I am the one carrying my mom fiancially, my own life, my daughter… and I have to stay calm. dont make too much fuss or my mom (as she has done before) uses my daughter as a weapon against me. Threatening to leave even when I am out traveling for work.


Life is a bitch when you dont take control of it…


Any single father out there struggling?



One thought on “the struggle of a single father

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